


Santa Baby

by mistresscurvy



Series: Pornmas 2020 [6]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Christmas Party, Felix dressed as an elf, Jealousy, M/M, Mistletoe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28430010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistresscurvy/pseuds/mistresscurvy
Summary: When he sees Felix, Sylvain cannot believe his eyes. "Oh my god.""If you value your life--" Annette begins."I never knew my kink was for tiny lethal Santa's elves who look like they want to murder Christmas, but it's important to be open to late-in-life discoveries.""--you won't say anything to him about the outfit," Annette finishes, an air of resignation in her voice.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Series: Pornmas 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2073921
Comments: 12
Kudos: 86





	Santa Baby

**Author's Note:**

  * For [harriet_vane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/harriet_vane/gifts).



> Happy Pornmas, harriet_vane! You asked for a first kiss and jealous Sylvain and one or more of them not realizing their feelings were reciprocated, which I mixed together with [this tweet.](http://twitter.com/WritesHarriet/status/1341578535132000256) <3
> 
> Thank you to oliviacirce as always for the excellent beta <3

When he sees Felix, Sylvain cannot believe his eyes. "Oh my god." 

"If you value your life--" Annette begins. 

"I never knew my kink was for tiny lethal Santa's elves who look like they want to murder Christmas, but it's important to be open to late-in-life discoveries." 

"--you won't say anything to him about the outfit," Annette finishes, an air of resignation in her voice. 

"Oh, I'm going to talk to him. I'm going to talk to the love of my life about how he could hide this from me. Me, his one and only," Sylvain says. His outrage is only partially feigned; everyone else seems significantly less shocked by Felix's Christmas elf getup than he is, which means there were secrets. Secrets about Felix that were kept from Sylvain! Which means Sylvain will have to be twice as annoying as he had already planned on being. 

He squints across the room. "Does he have a holster for his candy cane? Where did he even find that?"

"He made it himself," Ashe says. "Said every weapon needs its proper home."

Okay, that's a tiny bit actually hot rather than just ironically hot, which is obviously how Sylvain feels about the rest of the outfit. Aside from the fit of the pants. And the way the cut of the jacket shows off Felix’s tiny waist. Or how the cap frames his face, the escaping pieces of hair making Sylvain desperate to tug off the cap and get his hands in his hair--

The point is, this is not what Sylvain was expecting from his Sunday afternoon of volunteering for a good cause. 

Every December, the Fhirdiad Community Center is transformed from a fairly drab multipurpose building into a winter wonderland of activity. In one corner of the large main room, kids sit around tables and create homemade ornaments and wreaths, assisted by Ignatz and Marianne. In another, a huge spread of fresh baked goods are available for sale, with all proceeds benefiting some good cause or another, Sylvain has already forgotten which one. Christmas music is piped in for a singalong in a side room, where families can record a video of them singing together for a donation. And of course, directly opposite the front doors is the main attraction: Santa's House. 

Sylvain's assignment is in the singalong room, but when he’d first arrived it was clear Ferdinand and Lorenz were running things there just fine. If he’d stayed, he'd have gotten in their way! He's certain there's far more he can do to help here in the main room. Near Santa's House, maybe. 

Before Sylvain can make his way over to where Felix is masquerading as a little elf near the small hut where some poor soul is playing Santa to hundreds of children, Dimitri stops in front of Felix. 

"Uh oh," Sylvain murmurs under his breath. "There's about to be a lot of blood for Christmas this year." 

"What, between Dimitri and Felix?" Ingrid says from behind him. "Not anymore." 

Sylvain turns to look at her. "You're joking, right? Felix nearly gutted him in the Haunted House two months ago." He's certain Annette and Ashe will back him up, but they've already wandered over to the bake sale. 

Ingrid crosses her arms, looking irritated. "Well, if you don't believe me, see for yourself." 

Sylvain turns back to see Dimitri actually smiling at Felix, who isn't smiling back but also hasn't murdered Dimitri just for bearing his teeth at him. Huh. That sure does look like a detente has been reached. 

"A Christmas miracle," Sylvain says, shaking his head. "Will wonders never cease?"

Then Dimitri puts his hand on Felix's shoulder, and Felix _lets him,_ and Sylvain is suddenly much less amused. 

"Told you," Ingrid says right into his ear, and Sylvain is just about to say something extremely rude when Felix looks their way and locks eyes with him.

"Clearly I need to get the story directly from Felix," Sylvain says, and swaggers over to Santa's House as soon as Dimitri walks over to the arts and crafts corner. 

It’s one thing to accept that apparently, he's the only one who didn't know Felix would be an elf for Christmas; it’s another thing entirely that, unbeknownst to him, Felix's longest-running grudge has somehow been resolved. If Sylvain didn't know better, he'd think the emotion he's feeling could be called hurt. 

"What, were they out of Elf on the Shelfs at the store?" he asks brightly when he gets to Felix. 

"Go away," Felix says, and then quickly to the small child nearby who looks startled, "No, not you. _Him._ "

"Wouldn't it be Elves on the Shelf?" Mercedes asks from out of nowhere. He hadn't noticed her or Annette walking over. 

"Yeah, but then it doesn't rhyme," Annette says. 

"Some things were never meant to be plural," Sylvain says solemnly. 

"Can I help any of you with anything, or are you just here to annoy me," Felix says. His hands are on his hips, and it is truly unfair how adorable he is. 

"We were going to buy something from Lysithea at the bake sale--do you want anything? They have savory pies," Annette adds quickly when Felix makes a sour face. 

"Oh, I'm in the mood for a Santa Snack," Sylvain says, winking at Felix. 

"Gross," Felix mutters. "I guess I'll take a pie."

Once Mercedes and Annette leave, Sylvain gives him another once over. "Okay, seriously, how did this happen? Did you lose a bet?" he asks, suddenly delighted at the idea. 

"I don't lose bets," Felix says sullenly. "Glenn was supposed to do it, but he had to cancel last minute, and Dimitri asked me to take his place." 

That explanation is _much_ worse. "Why on earth would you help him?" Sylvain asks, bewildered.

"It's for charity, you dickhead." 

"Felix, not in front of the children!" Something doesn't add up. "What's the charity this year, anyway?"

For a moment, Sylvain thinks Felix isn't going to answer him at all. But finally he looks up and says, "It's for the animal shelter." 

_Oh._ "Ah, Felix, why didn't you just say so! Of course you wanted to rescue all of the kittens," Sylvain says, wrapping his arm around Felix's shoulders. 

"Let me go or I will stab you with this candy cane," Felix says, perfectly calm. 

Sylvain lets go, and manages not to complain that Felix didn't make _Dimitri_ stop touching him. "That explains why you'd do this event, but not why you're talking to Dimitri again," he points out. "Did he finally grovel sufficiently?"

"Ew," Felix says, but he won't look at Sylvain, so probably he did. "No, it was all just a long time ago, and people change." 

Sylvain looks over at where Dimitri is standing with Dedue, and then back at Felix, who is still staring at Dimitri. A hot flash of something ugly comes over him, and he ruthlessly shoves it down and refuses to acknowledge it ever again. "Hey, have you seen Dorothea? She wasn't in the choir room." 

Felix finally looks at him again. "No, but maybe she's helping Ingrid with crowd control." 

"I need to let her know it's her lucky Christmas--I've got a ticket with her name on it for the Nutcracker." Sylvain doesn’t, but he’s sure he can find one. 

Scowling, Felix grabs him by the arm. "Don't be an idiot, she'll never go with you." 

"Why, Felix, if I didn't know better I'd think you were jealous," Sylvain says. Felix's grip is extremely strong and extremely good, fingers wrapped tightly around his biceps. He can't help but flex a little, just to feel the pressure better. 

He almost sighs when Felix lets him go. "If you want to get murdered by Ingrid, be my guest."

Honestly, it might be nice to be put out of his misery so efficiently. "Okay, Felix, watch how it's done." He takes off across the room to find Dorothea, dodging small children everywhere. The large kitchen where people are still baking fresh sugar cookies seems like a good bet. But before he can walk through the double doors that lead there, Felix's hand is pulling his shoulder back. "You're such a dick, don't ruin today for Ingrid and Dorothea," Felix whispers angrily. 

"Ohhhh, you're so hot when you're saving me from certain death," Sylvain says, his heart pounding, and Felix manages to look even angrier and hotter in response. 

Sylvain is delighted when Felix opens his mouth, surely to yell at him more, but suddenly Hilda pops up out of nowhere. "Our first mistletoe victims of the night!" 

Felix glares at her; Sylvain is certain he misheard her. "Uh, victims?"

Hilda points above them at the sprig of mistletoe hanging above the doors to the kitchen. "Every couple that's caught under the mistletoe can either kiss, or make a donation," she says and holds out a top hat. 

"Where do you carry a wallet in that outfit?" Sylvain asks Felix.

"Oh, yes, because of course I'm paying," Felix says.

Sylvain feels a bit like he's dying, which means the only answer is to be as much of an asshole as possible. "Well, I assumed you wouldn't want your first kiss to be in front of people." 

"You're such a fucking idiot," Felix says fiercely. 

Sylvain is just about to take his wallet out, his point made, when suddenly Felix is grabbing his face in both of his hands and his mouth is smashed against Felix's. It's only to catch his balance that Sylvain wraps both of his arms around him, and he only adjusts the angle of their faces because his nose is being smashed. It's not because Felix is making furious little noises into his mouth that Sylvain is absolutely desperate to catch, or because he's been thinking about what it would feel like to kiss Felix since the first time he saw him. 

As it turns out, it feels like getting hit in the face with a two-by-four, which checks out. But it's the best two-by-four Sylvain has ever encountered in his entire life. 

When Felix begins to pull away, Sylvain makes a small noise of protest, only letting go when Felix presses both hands against his chest and pushes. It feels like pulling two magnets apart, his balance off-kilter, and Felix is pink and gorgeous and not looking anywhere remotely in Sylvain's direction. 

So he does the only thing he can think of: he laughs, pulls out his wallet, and drops two fifties into the hat. "Point made, but I think they deserve the cash, too, after seeing all of that." He grins at Hilda's shocked face, salutes Dimitri, who appears to have dropped his drink while watching the spectacle, and turns around to leave.

*

He only gets as far as the front room with the racks of coats when Annette catches up with him. "Sylvain! Where are you going?" 

Flashing her a bright smile, he wraps his scarf twice around his neck. "My work here is done. Goodwill has been spread, money has been donated, and Felix has been--" He stops abruptly, not entirely sure what the correct verb there should be. "Outfoxed," he settles on, but it doesn't quite land right. 

"You can't just leave," she says. 

"Sure I can!" he says confidently. Annette gives him a look that makes his stomach want to curdle, but he does his best to ignore it. 

"Not until you take this back," Felix says from behind them both. Annette squeaks and runs away, the traitor, and Sylvain is left with an extremely angry-looking Felix, who is holding out two fifties to him. 

"That's for charity! Felix, are you stealing from kittens now?" 

"Why are you always like this?" Felix asks, but he doesn't wait for Sylvain to come up with a doubtlessly clever response. "You don't need to pay for me." 

"Sure I do, you won the mistletoe kissing chicken," Sylvain says. 

"That's not a _thing,_ I swear you spend all of your time trying to drive me crazy," Felix shouts. 

"Is it working?" Sylvain asks, refusing again to take the money when Felix shoves it at him. "Also, you shouldn't date Dimitri," he adds, because if this evening is going to end with Felix mad at him for the rest of his life, he should at least be thorough.

"What are you talking about?" Felix asks, sounding truly bewildered. 

"I'm glad you're not trying to kill each other any more! Annette and Ingrid were stressed out about it all the time. But I don't think that means jumping straight into a relationship with him is necessarily a good idea," Sylvain says reasonably. 

"Oh my god," Felix says, and this time when he kisses Sylvain, it feels less like a two-by-four and more like a freight train. But a really good one, one that makes Sylvain's entire body light up and his hands shake as they cup Felix's face, which is right here in front of him. It's maybe not much like a freight train at all, but something altogether more gentle, a word he never thought he'd associate with the two of them.

"Why do you think I want to date Dimitri," Felix says against his mouth, and then bits his lower lip. 

Sylvain gasps and tries--and fails--to bite Felix back. That's okay. "He touched your arm." 

"Yeah?" Felix kisses him again, which makes thinking extremely difficult. 

"So, you don't let anyone do that. So." 

"Idiot," Felix says again, and walks him backwards into a supply closet. 

"Well, this is cozy," Sylvain says brightly, and Felix rolls his eyes. 

"I have to get back soon, but I want to be as clear as possible," he says, and kisses Sylvain again. 

"Mmm, yes, that was perfectly clear," Sylvain says, darting in for another kiss as soon as Felix pulls away. Felix's mouth is so soft and lovely when he's not trying to murder Sylvain with it. "Wait, what were you saying?"

Felix sighs. "I don't want to date Dimitri." 

Sylvain is pretty sure he knows where this is going, but he's not above being a dick about it. "Because...?"

"Because for some reason, god only knows why, I want to date you," Felix says. "Even though you'll be a dick about it." 

"I'll be your dick," Sylvain says proudly. 

"Not here," Felix says immediately, his cheeks going very pink. 

"No," Sylvain agrees, in utter disbelief that he somehow did manage to win mistletoe kissing chicken. "You have to get back out there," he says, and kisses Felix again. 

After a long moment, Felix breaks away and clears his throat. "I do."

"But you should come over to mine after you're done," Sylvain says hopefully. "Keep on the costume." 

"You're so disgusting," Felix says, but he's biting his lower lip. 

"You're the one who looks so good in those tights," Sylvain says, and runs his hands up and down the outside of Felix's thighs. 

"Okay, okay," Felix says, a bit breathless. "I'll wear the costume."

They never give it back.

**Author's Note:**

> [Santa snacks are in fact a real cookie, and they are delicious.](https://www.justapinch.com/recipes/dessert/cookies/magic-cookie-bars-from-eagle-brand.html)
> 
> I am on twitter at [@mistresscurvy](https://twitter.com/mistresscurvy)!


End file.
